Monday, September 26, 2011


Healing comes in many different ways and sometimes you don't realize you are healing yourself until it has already happened.
For some reason God told me that I needed to take Randi to the Clemson game on Saturday after her birthday party.  I still think it was a crazy thing for me to do, but I now know why God led me to the decisions I made for us on Saturday.
I don't think I have ever had so much fun at a Clemson game.  Seeing my daughter's love for the team I love so much melts my heart.  I smiled and cried more than I have in a long time.
It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the events of the day, was just what I needed.  I needed to take Randi to Clemson.  I needed to do it by myself.  I needed to smile and cry.
Now, you may be asking why I needed this day so much.
 I needed this day to heal.  To heal my broken heart.
 I didn't feel right from the moment we found out we were expecting another baby.  
Due to what happened with our twins, we decided to keep the pregnancy a secret until we knew for sure everything was OK.
I was 6 weeks along when we lost the baby and I have been lost since that day. 
 I kept asking why?  Why did this happen to us again and why now?  
We had planed for this baby for over a year.
But God has a different plan for us and on Saturday, he told me why we lost our baby.  

I hope that you are not upset with us for finding out about our baby on our blog, 
but I just didn't know how to say it out loud.  
Now that I am finally in a good place about our baby, I am able to share with you.

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